Welcome to Salsa and the City! This is a new monthly column by Erin about Salsa in the Circle City. Salsa has become a lifestyle for some of us: music, dance, parties, fashion, travel, friends, relationships, and, did I say dance? For those who are addicted to Salsa, this is a place where you can read about what's going on in the city, and share your ideas, comments, and gossip. Erin has been a regular of Indy's Salsa scene since 1998.

Salsa and Dating in the New Millenium
by Erin Lamb
posted January 21, 2008

There are a lot of things to like about Salsa dancing and the Salsa Scene. The thing that many salseros/as enjoy is the quality of people that the dance seems to attract. On any given night at a salsa event you can see a wide variety of people from varying age groups, races, professions, and religious backgrounds. As I always say, “No matter your flavor, there is something here for everyone.” This leads me to this week's topic, “Salsa and Dating in the New Millenium.”

Dating today is more difficult than ever. People are waiting longer to marry. Many people's careers are demanding, causing them to travel more, work later, and socialize less. Some were previously married and now unexpectedly find themselves single again. It is even harder if you are juggling kids in the mix.

No one wants to look for a mate in the standard bar scene. It is full of bad pick-up lines, drunkenness, foolishness, and grinding. The Salsa scene – on the other hand – is full of educated and ambitious people who dress nicely and treat everyone with some respect. They are not arrogant, but open and caring. While I sit at the bar and watch the people dance I often think to myself, ‘My friends here are hot! How is it that they are still available?'

This is why I tell you that Salsa dancing is a single person's paradise. It is as safe as Eharmony and as quick as Speed dating. You don't even have to know how to dance to make friends at the club. The people are friendly and always happy to see a new face (fresh meat!). As long as you can carry on a conversation, you can hang in the salsa world. Dancing, of course, is a plus. It is the quickest date you'll ever be on, and there are no expectations. One dance lasts approximately 3-4 minutes, and by the end you'll know if you have chemistry with that person or not. Even if you don't have chemistry with that person, no one's feelings will be hurt. You simply thank them for the dance and go your separate ways.

My biggest advice is that if you are looking for love in the land of Salsa, be practical. Take your time and make friends first. Get to know the people within the scene so that you may find those with whom you have the most in common. You don't want to put people off by appearing too aggressive. Plus, Salsa is social, if you are not friendly, it will not be friendly to you. The best way to get to know people is to take a class or go to a party.

Other dating mistakes to avoid: Don't go chasing the youngest skirt –or trousers- in the room. The majority of salsa dancers span the ages of 21-50. If you are really serious about finding a companion you must spend time with people who are at the same point in life as you. You are more likely then to have the same ambitions and priorities. Now if all you are looking for is a roll in the hay, then you shouldn't even bother with this article. I'll talk about that on another day.

Another big ‘no-no' is spending your time with only the opposite sex. If you are a man, don't only socialize with the women. If you are a woman, don't only socialize with the men. If you are not friendly to your own sex, then you will not be popular in the Salsa scene. Remember, friends can be an asset. They can help you meet potential dates. Show respect to everyone around you, not just a chosen few.

In closing, I wrote this article because I know there are a lot of people out there who would like to meet someone. I like to see my friends happy, and most of the salseros/as I have met are very deserving. They are extremely attractive and their minds make them even more so. It would be a shame to let a good salsero/a go to waste.

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