Welcome to Salsa and the City! This is a new monthly column by Erin about Salsa in the Circle City. Salsa has become a lifestyle for some of us: music, dance, parties, fashion, travel, friends, relationships, and, did I say dance? For those who are addicted to Salsa, this is a place where you can read about what's going on in the city, and share your ideas, comments, and gossip. Erin has been a regular of Indy's Salsa scene since 1998.

When Ego Gets in the Way of Good Dancing
by Erin Lamb
posted March 18, 2008

As a salsa dancer I have always felt that it was not necessarily the skill level of the lead that made the dance enjoyable for me, but the level of enthusiasm that my partner had about dancing.  So many men are obsessed with getting the moves and looking cool that they forget to have fun.  There are many times that I have been dancing at the club and have felt like I am the prop for the man to launch himself off of – a little rag doll for him to manipulate while he basks in the light of his own magnificence.   Move-obsessed leads are not a new problem to Indianapolis, or anywhere else you find salsa dancers.  However, the problem has endured so long that it has essentially become part of the definition of what it is to dance with a lead from Indy.  It is “our style” of dancing.

While in the past, the move-obsessed male would only go from move to move while dancing wildly off-beat.  Now, I will admit that many men have corrected their timing, and have even added some style.  The problem is, they have only added in their style – no style allowance for the women.  It is not often that a lead from Indy lets go of his partner.  He clutches to her as if he is clutching to life itself.  At most, we get T-stances and lunge stances thrown at us.  Those are perfectly nice, but they are also perfectly restricting.  Sometimes I have the urge to go crazy, break away from his grasp and take off across the dance floor just to see if he follows.  So far I have restrained myself.

Another bittersweet accomplishment for the men in Indy is spins.  I am glad to see the men spinning themselves more, BUT . . . in focusing on their own spins, I have found that for each turn the man gives himself, he decreases mine by that same number.  It has gone from extremes – In the past I was being asked to do 8 spins here, 4 there, and a triple thrown on the end for good measure.  Now I get one spin here, one spin there, and a cross over with turn for the grand finale.  While I appreciate the break, can't we find a happy-medium, boys?

There is light at the end of the tunnel I have found.  I have noticed some of the younger, newer male dancers (what I like to call “newbies”) do not have some of these habits I have described.  They have no shame, they'll try anything once, and aren't concerned if they mess up. And they don't perform for anyone watching from the sidelines.  You can actually interact with them because their focus is on you, not the person off in left field!

I've also noticed that these newbies have good styling and let the girl go 2, maybe 3 times during the dance - just long enough to have some fun, and then break back into partner dancing.

In addition, these newbies will dance with everyone.  They do not search the floor for women with qualifications suiting their needs as superior dancers.  If the song is good, and a woman is free, he dances with her - no applications, credit-check or pre-approval necessary.

So word to the wise, boys - stop worrying about looking good and impressing everyone besides your partner.  The dance floor is not your stage.  No one is at the club for a show.  Part of being an attractive dancer is to have the ability to make your partner smile – maybe even laugh!  Let loose, be shameless.  You don't need a million moves to be considered a good dancer.  You just have to know how to have fun.

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