The Top 10 Things a Lady Does Not Want to Hear on the Dance Floor (but already has)
by Erin Salona
posted September 8, 2004

Admit it. Indy's Salsa scene is comprised of two types of people: those who are looking for dates and those who already have one. We enter The Red Room, The Jazz Kitchen, The Blue Cactus, or one of Sylvain's parties looking our best and ready to Salsa on the dance floor and chat it up on the side with one of Indy's sexy singles. The Salseros display their dance technique with all the pomp and circumstance of a peacock, while the ladies either engage themselves in the bright, wild movements of the feathers until lost in a hypnotic trance, or they avert their eyes--too guarded to allow themselves to become enamored with the enchanting ritual, the alpha-peacock, the man with the dance.

Gentleman, let me ask you this: Are you ready for the dating dance to begin? Be watchful of your words; you don't want a sensual Salsera to slip away with one of these hackneyed lines. And, ladies, we've heard them all, haven't we?

10. "If you can move your body like that in here, I'd like to see what you can do with it out there . . . at my place."

9. "How would you like to come home with me later for a private lesson? I've been all over the world to learn the latest moves."

8. "Excuse me while I dance with that sexy Salsera over there. I think I might have a chance with her tonight, if you know what I mean. Do you see what she's wearing? Damn!"

7. "So, uh, do you like have a boyfriend? Why don't you come home with me tonight? Uh, yeah, and what's your name?" (Seriously, gentleman. This never ever works).

6. "The last time I danced like this with a girl, I was a father nine months later."

5. "You should consider a few more rounds of Beginner I Salsa lessons with Erin and Yang. I don't think you're quite there yet."

4. "You remind me of my mom when you dance."

3. "Don't worry about it, baby. That's just my bachata in my pocket."

2. "If you think of every dance with a different woman like a date, I've been with like 20 women tonight."

1. "I'm a certified Salsa whore!



More from our readers:

- "You want to go to my house and dance? I have beer there."