Welcome to Salsa and the City! This is a monthly column by Erin about Salsa in the Circle City. Salsa has become a lifestyle for some of us: music, dance, parties, fashion, travel, friends, relationships, and, did I say dance? For those who are addicted to Salsa, this is a place where you can read about what's going on in the city, and share your ideas, comments, and gossip. Erin has been a regular of Indy's Salsa scene since 1999.

Machismo On The Dance Floor
by Erin Lamb
posted May 10, 2005

I've been dancing salsa in Indianapolis now for about 6 years. No matter how much the salsa scene has evolved and grown, one thing unfortunately has never changed - salsa here is macho. The male ego has taken over the art of salsa in Indianapolis, preventing it from actually getting where it needs to be in order to compete with cities such as Chicago, New York, and L.A.

Now, guys, before you all get excited and angry, read on.

As an instructor of salsa, I always hope to teach my students the best technique as is possible and also to build their confidence on the dance floor. It is difficult to teach confidence, especially when you are trying to get a person's body to move in a way it has never moved before. However, day after day, I see people learning to love the music of salsa, and feeling more and more comfortable about interpreting the music with their bodies, AND sharing that experience with a partner in the middle of a club. This takes guts.

But . . . there is one problem.

There seems to be a trend with some of our salseros in the city. Many men I have taught and/or danced with socially have developed too much confidence in themselves. (Notice I say "many men" but I do not say "all men.") These men have developed egos so large that it actually limits their ability to progress and grow as dancers, yet they are so blinded by that same ego that they cannot recognize the problem themselves - even when it is diplomatically pointed out to them by their dance partners. In the next few paragraphs I will give you some examples of this phenomenon to better explain myself.

Example No. 1 The Glassy Eyes And the Sudden Loss of Rhythym

Ladies the first sign that you are dancing with a man controlled by his ego is when you look into his eyes while you are dancing and you realize that nobody is staring back. His eyes have stopped focusing on you, and he has become more occupied by who else in the "audience" could possibly be digging his cool moves. What soon follows these wandering eyes is sudden loss of rhythym. When he finally believes that somebody in the audience is digging him, he speeds up, stepping wildly, and doing every difficult pattern that he has stored up in his mind for just that moment. He is dancing so fast in fact, that you can't even enjoy the music because you are too busy chasing his lead around the dance floor.

Example No. 2 Other Dancers Get Injured If They Fall IntoYou and Your Partner's Path

I understand that an occasional foot will get stepped on on a busy night at the club, however when you dance with a lead controlled by his ego, unsuspecting dancers nearby take a severe pounding. I have danced with more than one man who has decided that he has something to prove on the dance floor that night; and I have been used as an instrument for him to clear to floor so he can do "his moves". He wants to do a dip or a trick - So who cares if you take out a few couples to complete the move? - Who cares if someone gets bloodied? - It's worth it to make him look good!

Example No. 3 He Talks to Every Woman As If She Knows Nothing About Salsa

I will give it to the guys, without them we are nothing. But the road goes both ways. We have some guys in this city that make dancing fun. They feel the beat, and have tons of style while they dance. However, these men that I speak of rarely realize the quality of follows they are dancing with each night. They only care about how cooperative she is with their moves - even if they execute them wrong as a lead. Often times as women we get talked to as if we are children or even a car. One woman I spoke with told me that before dancing a man said to her once, "Let's see what you can do." Come on! You are by no means test driving us! The club is not a car lot! I have also heard the dreaded "No, no, no!" or "Eh-eh-eh!" after I have misread a move that the man actually mislead. I have never said anything to these individuals, nor do I ever plan to say anything. Ignorance is bliss, and who am I to ruin anyone's bliss?

In closing, I do want to stress again that I am not accusing all of you salseros out there of these crimes against salseras. Those of you who are guilty of these actions know who you are, and I pray that you do what you can to fix the problem. I mean that sincerely. In Indianapolis we cannot afford to lose our male dancers, however, we cannot afford to keep leads who are counter-productive to the salsa movement here in Indy. I have always said that until you admit what you do not know, you cannot truly grow as a dancer. That is what it takes to be a true man on the dance floor.

Reader's comments

Since I started taking lessons, I've realized how much I don't know, and I really wish more men would adopt that attitude! I've heard guys that I dance with regularly criticize dancers who are much better than me b/c they "can't follow a lead." I find myself biting my tongue want ing to say "I can only follow your bad lead because I dance with you all the time and know EXACTLY what you're going to do!" Also, the rythym is just as important as the moves. Seriously guys, the pause is important... How am I going to look adoringly into your eyes if the only way I can stay on beat with you is to look at your feet? At least be open to the idea that YOU MESS UP TOO! That said, there are lots of fantastic and fun dancers of both genders here in Indy. Let's keep the number growing.
- Happysalsara

Erin, Nicely written. If you have a sense of humor (which I think you do) please continue reading, else please stop here. 1. The Glassy Eyes And the Sudden Loss of Rhythym. This also happens when guys are "kind of" drunk. 2. Other Dancers Get Injured If They Fall IntoYou and Your Partner's Path. That simple and caring gesture makes sure that you have plenty of space to prance. 3. He Talks to Every Woman As If She Knows Nothing About Salsa True. Of course by talking only about salsa we macho guys don't want to expose your well-rounded lack-of-knowledge in *all* areas. I was totally kidding when I gave my counter points. I think your article is completely true. It is a guys job to completely satisfy a woman and to make sure she always has a good time. Too many guys are focussed on themselves and don't pay attention.
- Kris M

O.K so us Mucho Macho Magnifico's need a little space sometimes, maybe a little show off time, maybe some exposure! Eh! Perhaps Dj TaZ could add a little spot on a Saturday evening for us Mucho Macho Magnifico's to offer some Mucho Macho Shine displays! Eh! About time you Salseras appreciate some Macho Shines! Eh!
- Mucho Macho Magnifico

Some one had to say it!!! GO ERIN! Harsh, but true...
Guys, we don't like to burst your bubble, but really think about this as sincere constructive criticism; you'll be surprised at how many salseras complain behind your back when we feel like we are being tugged, pushed and pulled. We like to show off too, but not at the risk of being hurt or hurting anyone else!
- CNP

Up until now I didn't even know about the whole machismo thing on the dance floor. As a male lead (cuz my girl Shane can lead a mean salsa), I have been guilty at one time or another of some of those offenses. But I had to get over those to grow as a dancer. You should always be humble and recognize that there are thousands of dancers that are better than you and some women could out dance you if they wanted to. Also that you're only as good as you and your partner are dancing. If you're messing up repeatedly because of the complex patters you're choosing or your ego then its your fault.
- Ryan

First it says: "They [some men] cannot recognize the problem themselves - even when it is diplomatically pointed out to them by their dance partners." Then later says: "Those of you who are guilty of these actions know who you are". I don't think it can be both, for if they don't recognize the problem themselves, then how can they know who they are?
- Holy

I've recently introduced a friend to salsa and took her to The Blue Cactus for the first time. Sure she was amazed by all the fancy moves she saw that night but what really caught her attention (and addicted) was this one pair. These two didn’t do a lot of complicated patterns - mostly basic steps, right turns, simple cross body lead patterns, and one dip at the end - but they did it with a lot of style, danced with the music, and both looked very happy dancing together. Although I introduce her to salsa, she reminded me what it was about.
- BL

Most of us guys can plead guilty to 1 or all of the examples Erin has pointed out. I have received many complaints from women about salseros on the dance floor that try to coach them, but the truth is that they need some coaching on their lead. Sometimes ‘constructive criticism’ is needed. Instructors, salseros and salseras need to take them aside and inform/remind them that salsa is about the making the woman look good and dancing to the music.

Not saying that I am perfect, I too can claim guilty to some of Erin’s example, especially when I learn a new trick and dying to demo it on the dance floor, but I have always ask for advice and criticism from instructors and dance partners. I have only been dancing for a year and still have a lot of learning and refinement set forth for myself.
- Marques

I'm sure every guy reading this is thinking, I hope this is not me. A fine read, Erin.
- Rick

I agree, and I am convicted of these things you say. But I need to be told as if I am a two year old. And I think, to all the newer dancers, that these things should be the last thing on their mind. I am fairly new to the dance scene. And most of the time while dancing the only thing I can think of is what my next move is and how am I supposed to lead into it: with the left hand or the right. So all that said, please give me more detailed constructive critisisms.
- Ike

Hmmm....to whomever could you possibly be referring?? :) Unfortunately, Erin, I don't believe the biggest offenders even realize just how offensive they are! Salsa is such a passionate dance; it's about feeling the music - not being a control freak! :)
- India

Theses things need to be said. The truth hurts sometimes. However, as a salsera that has been dancing for years, I do give men credit for getting out there and dancing! Let's not forget, not all men dance. And for those of us ladies that really love to, THANK YOU to all the men that do. That said, men also try to remember that you can truly hurt your partner or someone else by over-zealous leading. I have had my shoulders hurt, feet broken, and remember an elbow in my face once. I know that I may sometimes step on someone when I don't mean to, but my partner has sometimes led me into that position.And, I went out to dance, not to get a black eye! And, men, try dancing with someone new once in a while. Yes, it is fun to lead a girl that you always dance with and who knows your moves, but you become a much stonger lead when you branch out and dance with others. You never know what you might learn. And, you might even have fun. So, drop the egos, salseros and salseras, and just get out there and dance because you love it and you want others to love it too! Don't be the dancer that scares others off the dance floor!
- AC

I loved this article. Thanks so much for exposing this crime!!!
- Tee

Just shut up and dance women!
- God

Erin, Thanks for the feedback. The more you correct me, the better a dancer I become.
- Uko

Erin, this was hilarious! And not to take away from the seriousness of the article but you make compelling points that we can all relate to, at one time or another. But I also believe that these things can be remedied. Machoness or "The Machismo on the Dance Floor" can be fixed with the act of consideration for his dance partner as well as others around him. The dance floor is a shared space, where everyone can add positive or negative energy to that space. When a salsero forgets that, he might else well be dancing by himself.
- Thavary

As someone who has danced for longer than I remember I can say that no matter what the style or the dance you always get better when you branch out and try something beyond your limits. Dancing with a new partner to make sure that your lead is not GREAT only because the women which dance with you are so used to your moves they can read your mind, or ladies...dancing a bit faster with someone that truly keeps you on your toes and risk that one or two tugs by the shoulder for a dance which steps up your game. Erin thank you for bringing this all out in the open, and lets all go out have a good time and make Salsa even better here in Indy for both the gentlemen and the ladies.
- Born to dance

I hope that a lot of guys would read this article, because they need a good wake up call. True, not all the guys out there are acting these way, but those who do sometimes they get offended, or defensive or sometimes even angry if we (ladies) say something to them about the way they are dancing. Guys, I love to dance, but sometime you have to treat the ladies like a flower. A rough lead, misleading or a macho kind of dancing style will get you nothing but a bad rep. at the clubs. And believe you me the women talk about how the guys dance; who's a good dancer who's not, who's got a good lead and who's too rough dancing. So guys take my advice watch what are you doing when you are on the dance floor because this can make or break you. And keep on dancing.
- Salsera

I do not think this is a macho thing at all, but yes, some of us need to pay better attention to some details such as safety and partnering.
- Mayimbe

For those of you who Really know me, you should have known it was only a matter of time before I responded to this article. As a salsera who has had to deal with all of Erin's examples when dancing, I will say this to all my favorite salseros: Thank you for knowing how to lead, teach and having fun all the while. For those of you who cannot accept the constructive criticism in this article, that's too bad you prefer to limit yourselves. I have even danced with salseros who have made comments to me on the lack of consideration given to other dancers with respect to spacing on the dance floor. Let's not forget, there are other dancers who like to shine as well. Besides, I learn something every time I'm out dancing and that only makes me a better dancer. I still take classes and I've been around Salsa all my life. Being one of the older dancers out there, doesn't mean I have nothing left to learn. On that same note, it also doesn't mean I have nothing to offer as far as instruction goes. Since it's my job to follow, why is it so impossible to accept direction from someone who has learned where she is to go on the dance floor? I'm tired of having my feet stepped on and mutilated (I literally have no feeling in one of my toes from being stepped on while dancing). The better dancers, male or female, never stop learning new styles, steps, patterns and always look to have fun doing these things. Don't take the criticism personally, but look at it as a chance to grow as a dancer. I do agree that salsa here in Indy (as well as in other places) is a macho thing, which is unfortunate since salsa is meant to be a partnered style of dance. The patterns, whether complex or not, look better when you have a follow who can do just that and without the pain of trying to find the rhythm some of you macho leads lose from "showing off" your entire repertoire to a beat only heard inside your head. After all, it is a dance and not a marathon. There are good leads here in Indy and there are some who can be good leads as long as they are open to the idea that they don't know it all. Confidence is a big part of a good lead; however, arrogance isn't. Again, to the good leads out there, keep learning, keep it fun and keep it humble. I enjoy watching you dance as much as I enjoy dancing with you. To the rest, take some friendly advice: you're never too old or too good to learn something new.
- Patricia

Interesting article, Erin. I'm sitting here wondering why I can't relate to it and I think it's because I don't dance with the same men that most intosalsa salseras dance with. Why? It's like dancing with a bunch of badly-cloned Yangs. Sure, I'll dance with Yang, but I get tired of the same moves done badly with a bunch of wanna-be's. So I branch out, ask new men to dance all the time and find hidden treasures here and there. My advice to intosalseros and salseras - look beyond. There's a lot more to the Blue Cactus than our little clique!
- Oblivious

Girls... if the man starts to make you feel like crap on the dance floor, leave him there standing on the floor and walk away. That's the best thing you can do! Believe me, I have done it several times! ;-)
- Una Mujer

I have been dancing most of my life. and everything that I have read in this section is true. But the one thing that nobody has mentioned is the fact that some of these "macho men" when they bump into you dont even bother to turn around to see if they have hurt you.and heaven forbid that they should actually apologize for it.
- Sylvia

Hello from Turkey. Erin,what can be said? Great article again. Thanks for bringing this important subject to our attention. As I always believe IntoSalsa doesn't only have good instructors, but also have professional individuals like you.
- Bensu

Great piece Erin. I agree 100% with what you say, my brother and I often comment on "some" guys that are too confident, except we use a different term. I am only in the learning stages of Salsa and I can't tell you how addicting and enjoyable it is. I am getting more comfortable as every Saturday goes by and who knows you might see me at one of your classes sometime in '06. Great column!!!!
- Geno "El Campeon"

Verdad! Although there are many considerate, responsive and patient salseros out there, there are many whom care more about dancing every pattern that they have ever learned in one single song. I don't mind them trying but if it's clear that their partner is not advanced enough or their lead is not acurate and strong enough for her to follow, then why must they continue to attempt the move over and over until they both look bad? A bit of advice fellas, it is much more flattering to you and your female counterpart if you stick to moves that you both feel comfortable with. Please focus more on having fun with your partner than trying to impress everyone with your complicated patterns. Dance at your partner's level and make sure you are aware of what your level is!
- Salserita Nueva

So what are the major crimes the ladies may be guilty of? Any takers?
- Salsoul

Check out this article: Dance Floor Divas.
- Yang

I know that this is an old article but I swear to god I know who exactly this article is for. Finally out in the open. Ever since I've been leading lady students of mine I can more openly empathize with them. Not only is it rude to talk down to a lady with whom you can with but I encourage my students not to put up with Mr. Fancy pants. Just say no ladies. happy dancing everyone.
- Salsera in Bloomington